Chivalry is dead

There was a nice little shower today at quitting time. Yes. God waits until I have to drive home to unleash holy terror in the form of water from the heavens, i.e. rain. But Kim and I are standing under the awning at work just looking at the rain when a male co-worker (who shall remain nameless) comes outside. He watches Kim and I run through the rain to our cars. I am now sitting in the driver’s seat soaking wet and my cell phone begins to ring. It’s Kim, who has made it to her car, albeit with wet cleavage (thank you, Kim, for feeling the need to share), telling me to turn around and have a look. What I see is rather irritating and only proves that society is going to hell in a hand basket. This male co-worker who has just watched us run through the rain has busted out an umbrella and is strolling casually to his car. And they say chivalry is dead. . .

There was, once upon a time, this courtesy that men showed women. I guess it all died with women’s lib. I suppose I have a very traditional view of the roles that men and women play. There are obviously differences between the sexes. While I am mentally capable of handling any job a man can, there are some things that I am not physically able to accomplish. We are all entitled the same rights and levels of respect, but let‘s face it, we have different things to offer.

Upon entering the dating world, I have seen a lot of this first hand. Usually the ones worth keeping still have these common courtesies still in tact. In other words, they‘ve been raised right. Those who don’t. . .well let’s just say that their rears met the curb. If you can’t begin a relationship with the small stuff, then the big stuff is going to be even more of a hindrance. Ultimately, all good relationships, romantic or otherwise, start with at least a tiny bit of common courtesy. Here’s an idea: next time you see someone who will get drenched by a monsoon and you have an umbrella, offer to walk them to their car. It’s a tiny deposit into the bank of respect that will go a long way. I know, that was cheesy, but true.

Say what you need to say

I have found myself, with all my little trust issues, opening up. Yikes! I am still waiting for a pang of disappointment, which at this point is a totally unfounded worry and due in large part to personal insecurity. I don’t want to be taken advantage of but I also don’t want to miss out on something great because of fear. We all do that, I suppose. Let fear keep us from doing or saying what we want. It’s healthy to fear a consequence and we shouldn’t go off all willy nilly to accomplish something that will ultimately hurt us, but we shouldn’t allow the fear of rejection or isolation prevent us from even the slightest possibility of obtaining what we desire.

I have also learned that the possibility of things actually being taken at face value can actually happen. Yes, I know it’s crazy but it’s true and very rare. However, being completely honest for the purpose of making your feelings known (good, bad or indifferent) also presents the risk of being perceived as selfish. I have to say that other’s perceptions usually do not stop me from sharing what I feel compelled to share. If things go unsaid, then there is always that “what if” factor that just makes me uncomfortable. It is hard to find genuine people who are willing to tell the truth. When you do find them, you have to hang on, unless you like hearing lies, in which case ignorance is bliss. Well, it’s bliss until you fall flat on your face because you tripped over your own inflated ego.

So here’s the point: Say what you need to say (thank you, John Mayer) and open up to the possibility that you just might learn something in the process.

Enough said

Faith has to do with things that are not seen and hope with things that are not at hand.
--Saint Thomas Aquinas

Straw paper stuffer

So, I've been thinking. . .I know, stop it. . .that people are really stupid. I mean really really really stupid. I am consistently amazed at how long I have lasted in the field of customer service. I really have no tolerance for people who have their heads stuck in their own rear ends.

During our most recent tropical storm, Edouard, the true idiots came out to play. Our little corner of the state didn't recieve nearly a fraction of the impending doom that the media predicted (that's another rant for another time). All of the Houston-area, with the exception of our little municipality, was shut down. Nothing was open or operating. However, we still recieved calls from people in the height of the storm wondering if their garbage would be picked up. Uh. . .yeah.

That wasn't even the best part of the day! There is a drive through window in our office for payments. A woman drove through and asked me if I could locate the trash trucks for her because she had her garbage in the back of her car and she wanted to take it to them. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with people?

It would be great if someone could explain to me why the general population is so self-involved to be so oblivious to common sense (of which I have very little making the situation so much sadder). Since I don't see that happening anytime soon I guess I'll have to settle for the general public crazies or find a new job like stuffing straws into their wrappers. That would be great.

Greater expectations

I wasn’t too long ago that I decided that people are just too hard to understand. The only person’s motives that I can fully explain are my own. . .well, okay so not all of the time but at least I have control over what I do. Recently, I have learned to completely let go of my expectations of other people and I am finding that I am much happier.

I can’t please people. I can’t even begin to try. I don’t expect people to please me all the time so it shouldn’t be expected of me, either. We all let someone down at some point or another. Guess what? It’s because we are human. Imperfect. Whether or not you think someone will regret a decision or if they choose not to accept your advice is not up to you.

I have a tendency to be a little meticulous and heavy handed when it comes to those that I care about. Truly, it is because I want the best for them but they have to want that for themselves as well. Instead of sitting idly by and watching people screw up, (because really, it‘s like a bad car accident. . .you can‘t help but look) I’ve learned to remove myself from the situation. I have a sick obsession for worrying for someone else when they don’t seem to care enough to do anything for themselves.

Learning to let it all go has been liberating. Learning to love who I am has been even more so. I am something special. We all are. Allowing relationships or circumstances that are beyond our control run us is self destructive and a waste of precious time. Life should be enjoyed. It’s up to us to allow ourselves the freedom to be who we are with no apology.

Short and sweet

Sometimes things just hit you right between the eyes. The good, the bad and the ugly. I love surprises and whirlwinds are not always displeasure because no matter what happens, everything always balances out. But I'm so tired of fighting insecurities and guarding myself against the dull ache of disappointment. I was once a very open person. What I thought or felt was on my sleeve for everyone to see but I am finding post-divorce that letting down my guard is harder than I thought.

The hardest thing about being so cautious is that there are people that I would love to trust. It's nice to believe in honesty but so hard to determine someone's motivation. Since I am so very direct and forth-right, it's a hard to believe that others can be so devious and that they often say things they don't mean to acquire some piece of me for their own gain. I do realize that in order to move forward I will have to learn to trust again, but for now the walls are up. I guess it's up to the right person with the right amount of patience to break them down.