Sometimes things just hit you right between the eyes. The good, the bad and the ugly. I love surprises and whirlwinds are not always displeasure because no matter what happens, everything always balances out. But I'm so tired of fighting insecurities and guarding myself against the dull ache of disappointment. I was once a very open person. What I thought or felt was on my sleeve for everyone to see but I am finding post-divorce that letting down my guard is harder than I thought.
The hardest thing about being so cautious is that there are people that I would love to trust. It's nice to believe in honesty but so hard to determine someone's motivation. Since I am so very direct and forth-right, it's a hard to believe that others can be so devious and that they often say things they don't mean to acquire some piece of me for their own gain. I do realize that in order to move forward I will have to learn to trust again, but for now the walls are up. I guess it's up to the right person with the right amount of patience to break them down.
No comments:
Post a Comment