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Friday, January 2, 2009

Another year gone

It's been a while since I've posted a blog, as my friend Kim has so helpfully pointed out. . .Thank you, Kim. . .and has also offered some topic ideas when I said I had writer's block. . .again, Thank you, Kim.

One of her suggestions was a look back over the year, as it has been quite a dramatic one for me and my daughter. Through a divorce, a reforming of routine, dating (eeesh), and learning to finance a Christmas on a shoestring, I've learned a ton about myself and how much I truly am blessed. I always knew it but I had always felt as though I was missing out on something. I felt stuck.

Rewind to New Year's Eve 2008, I was sitting on my couch by myself watching the ball drop while my little angel butt slept in the next room. There was no inkling that I would be where I am today. I knew things were bad and I was quite miserable but I was determined to change it. Two weeks later, my daughter and I were living with my mother. I felt I had lost at the American Dream. My life had fallen into shambles and I didn't know how to fix it.

This year I spent New Year's Eve with a man that I can safely call my kindred spirit. This relationship has been 10 years in the making but it was certainly worth the wait. All the experiences I have had in the last few years have led me to a place of understanding. I will never completely understand what motivates people to make choices they make or why I am so compeled to fix everything but I do know this: All things work for the good of those who love the Lord. I do certainly love my God and my faith is the only thing that has kept me thus far.

They say you should never look back in order to move forward but I completely disagree. The only way to really appreciate where you are is to look at where you've been. Remembering the dark times makes the future all that much brighter with possiblity. So here's to 2009. May the music be good, the food be edible, and the love be stronger than ever before.

1 comment:

Rachel www.jackandcoledesigns.com said...

Amen sista!!

I loved that post. I'm proud of you and where you've come from.

You're a wonderful mother Tara. You deserve the best!