It's a Resolution, Baby!

Resolution is such a cliche term.  As overused as the word "awesome" and I don't like overused words or terms.  I have a list of words that I hate and will hide people on Facebook for using.  That's a post for another day.

Anywho, one year ending seems final and another beginning is hopeful.  Unfortunately, all those new gym memberships and organizational tools that we all buy because of our new hope will just fall into the land of forgotten resolutions about halfway into February.  So as I was taking a shower this morning I couldn't help but think about last year.

So before I decide to make a resolution (eww) I am going to reflect (ugh) on some of the things I learned in 2013 so that I can make some adjustments:

I learned that just because I am not working a 9 to 5 doesn't mean I have more time.  I am evaluating my business plan and I am taking time off from school to devote myself more fully to my husband and children.  Honestly, taking December off from both school and work has been the best thing for all of us.  Before the last few weeks, I cannot remember the last time I sat in front of the TV with my husband and kids and just hung out.  My face has been glued to a monitor for the last year and I'm pretty tired of it.  This isn't to say that I won't be working but I'll be doing less of it for people who really value what I do.  I ran into some doozies this year and I left those situations feeling empty and defeated.  Sometimes I forget that I choose who I work with as much as they choose me.

My 2014 adjustments (sounds so much better and more attainable, doesn't it?):

Slow down.  My kids will only be kids once.  My relationship with my husband as a romantic partner is just as important than the one I have with him as a parent.  I easily get caught up in the day to day but there are times that I need to stop and take in what is going on around me.  When I'm so busy buying groceries, organizing, getting WODs in and making sure all the bills are paid it's easy to miss that my family is missing me emotionally.  Relax.  Breathe.  Look around.  Sure, there's a giant pile of dishes in the sink and the floor you just mopped is filthy with cookie crumbs and scraps of arts and crafts but are my kids smiling?  Is my husband laughing?  If those sounds and sights are missing then I am missing.

And something I think we can all agree to:

Stop basing your life on what you know about what's viral and what's trendy.  Stop being outraged over the Phil Robertsons and Michael Moores of the world and make those around you see the light of Christ by reaching out in love.  There are real injustices, there are differing opinions (GASP!) and there are real and meaningful interactions right at your fingertips.  We are more connected as a globe as we've ever been.  Make those interactions count for the positive.  Most of all, if there is a disagreement it is simply that; a disagreement.  Just because someone thinks differently it doesn't mean they're personally insulting you.  Learn the difference.  Live in peace.

Happy New Year!

Girls, Girls, Girls...

Did the title grab your attention?
 

"'Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion!  For behold, I am coming and will dwell in your midst,' says the Lord."

Zechariah 2:10

 

 "Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion!  Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem!  Behold, your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, lowly and riding on a donkey, a colt, the foal of a donkey."

Zechariah 9:9

 

Daughter, a female offspring.  Daughter of Zion, a term of endearment used by God to refer to His people, believers.

Sorry to disappoint you.  The girls I'm going to be discussing today are some bad broads.  But I mean "bad" in the 90s slang good way.  On to the "bad" stuff.

Here's a little background on Zechariah:

Jerusalem has been in exile for 70 years.  Zechariah, a young prophet, tells the people that there is hope amidst desolation.  That the temple will be rebuilt and the Lord would be coming to dwell among them.  What reason would there be not to rejoice?  The spiritually bankrupt sins of their fathers had so decimated the people of Israel that they had been scattered to the four corners.  This exile was literal depiction of their hearts toward God.  But what God chastizes He will bring back to himself; as any loving Father would.

What intrigues me:

Considering the information we have on the role of women in Biblical times I have been perplexed by God's referral to His people, His believers, as a daughter.  Men were always so elevated amongst the heirarchy of social standing by Mosaic law.  Why would God chose to define His people with a feminine word?

Women were not to be completely silent, oppressed or passive victims. Consider these women:

1. Rahab, a prostitute who helped God's men escape beyond the wall,
2. Esther, who spoke to a king on behalf of her people when she was not summoned by him, a crime punishable by death and
3. Ruth, a widowed gentile who pursued Boaz in a time when the ramifications of such actions could leave her in a far more terrible state of destitution.

 These women moved with bold faith and their faith was rewarded. I long to be more like them.

Granted, there were laws to abide by for whatever reason but it was never God's intention for women to be devalued.  The law became twisted and preverted by scribes and pharisees; as all Godly things can be when left in the hands of man. One thing is for certain, women are just as important to God as any man.  The common referral to believers is, "the bride of Christ."  This referral to the body of Christ as His bride is representative of the church's soul in union with God.  Any real man knows that his wife is his greatest trust and because he is so invested in her well being she would willingly submit herself to his care (Ephesians 5:22-32). 

Surely, there are great injustices against women in the Bible and there is no denying that.  However, the same could be said of many men, especially Christ.  Sinless and blameless He endured a horrific death.  The good news: He won and with His victory we are ALL promised freedom. We were created specifically the way we are for a unique purpose.

YOU are the daughter of Zion, God's beloved.  That's a compliment. 

Warning! Warning! Too Invested In This World!

The thoughts on how to approach this subject have been rolling in my mind like little pebbles in the bed of a stream for several weeks.  Nothing was coming together coherently and I didn't know how to put it in writing.  Droplets of conversation, comments in movies or books, and social media have fueled this post.  On Sunday this video finally pushed the words to the edge and the dam that was stalling full comprehension and thought was completely demolished.

The words that needed to be spoken flooded through my pen and onto my church bulletin with ferocity.  I can only explain it as supernatural; craziness to anyone who doesn't understand how God works.  The one thing I can say with certainty is that this message must be spoken to all who will listen.  I'm insisting.

How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 

Matthew 7:4 NIV

Christians, you have been deceived!  You are too invested in this world's politics and protecting your hard earned wealth.  Your determination to protect what you have accumulated from others is completely contradictory to the teachings of Christ.  Politics cannot and will not honor your Father.  It holds you in bondage and keeps your mind pinned to things that will do nothing but harm His kingdom.

His commandment was to first and foremost love God and others.  Stop picketing with signs of judgment and condemnation.  Put that energy into something that glorifies God.  Prayer is a far more powerful tool than poster board and a hug is far louder than a bullhorn.  The enemy has you so concerned with the sin and judgment of others and how terrible this world is that you don't even notice that your condemnation of the actions of others is driving people away from the radical grace that saved YOU.  You are not entitled to His love and grace.  He gave it freely to each and every one of His created people and you are wasting that gift; hoarding it as though if it is shared you will diminish your salvation.  If you've ever lied, which we all have, then you have sin that is just as black as murder or lust.  God cannot tolerate sin and yet you've determined that there are sins far worse than any that you've committed.  

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40 NIV

You are called to be a vessel of the Holy Spirit.  You are to teach and preach His good news.  Instead you are picketing the courthouse steps and screaming hellfire and brimstone to those who need to hear of His mercy, grace and love.  You will change nothing.  The only way to see real transformation is through love.  THAT is your job.  THAT is His commission to us.

Let me put it this way.  Judas betrayed Christ because He was not a messiah bent on overthrowing the political oppression of the day.  He wasn't storming Rome and telling Caeser to hit the pavement.  Sound familiar?  Because of this Judas sent Jesus to the cross to die a humble, humiliating and excruciating death.  Was it all for not?

I know this will spark debate.  I am prepared for whatever backlash this may present.  After all, how can I say this to a group of people who will remain hardened and not expect some type of denial or judgment.  Ultimately, I hope this brings forth thought and careful consideration to those who are willing to hear it.  As my pastor so astutely stated, "The Kingdom of God is seen in transformed lives that live very differently from the world around us--that seek to love the least, the last and the lost, that care for the downtrodden and aren't focused on personal fulfillment and getting their fair share."



The video is one of the many wonderful productions created by Gateway Community Church's creative team.  If you'd like to see more you can visit their vimeo at http://vimeo.com/video4gateway.  This video was not created for this blog.

Crack That Book Open

I met a woman this afternoon who had no front teeth.  When she saw my baby boy she smiled.  He looked at her confused wondering where her teeth were.  People like her carry a stigma: she must be poor if she can't get that fixed, she's probably a drug addict, she must be slow.  The story of a hard life was written all over her face but her smile sealed the stereotype of  a poor, drug addict working a part time job at the grocery store because she wasn't very bright.

The truth is something that most people don't really want to hear.  Her teeth had been knocked out by a former significant other.  "He took my teeth," were her words.  She was working at the grocery store because she wasn't allowed to think of herself as anything other than his punching bag so now this was all she was capable of doing.  Thankfully, a shelter had taken her in and saved her from this man, but the rest of the damage had been done.  My heart broke.

Society doesn't afford people who have had a rough go to be anything more than a loser.  We treat these people who need more love than others as a burden; someone to gawk at and presume we know their situation.  I know the despair this woman endured.  It's a pain and a fear that no person should ever encounter.  The person you sleep next to, the one who made a vow to protect you, is actually responsible for torturing you on a regular basis and may one day kill you.  If you are lucky enough to escape with your life then you must deal with the psychological damage.  You collapse at the thought of conflict and the walls close in if the exit of any room is blocked.  Some nights you wake up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down your face because he's entered your dreams.  I know that fear.  I was lucky.

It all sounds like a Lifetime movie, I know, but this stuff really does happen.  Relationships never start out violent.  It's always really good in the beginning until there's an argument that gets just a little too heated.  Then the next time it goes a little further.  Two or three years down the road you start to realize that you never wear things you want to because they've been deemed inappropriate, you don't participate in activities because you don't want the third degree on where you've been and every time there is a conflict there's another hole in the wall where it met the back of your head.  You're too ashamed to admit that you're battered.  You're Jennie Garth in Lies Of The Heart or Judith Light in one of the fifty movies she's done on the subject.

My new sister who survived the struggle is not just another stereotype.  She is hope.  Hope that there is life on the other side of a terrible situation.  Hope that even after such trauma there is still a reason to smile.  If you bother to open the tattered and weathered cover of her story you can see that she is strong.  She is beautiful.

Some of us have a support system praying and waiting for us to make the decision to get out.  A lot of us do not.  For those who don't there is help: http://www.bayareaturningpoint.org/

Christian? No, thank you.

The term Christian has become one of the most controversial labels applied to a believer today.  I was recently attacked on Twitter for attempting to explain an aspect of my faith.  His Twitter handle was Religulous.  Can't say that I didn't expect to have someone who actively pursues debate with someone who holds a different belief to understand or agree with me on any aspect of my faith.  At any rate, it got me to thinking.  What is a Christian?

It is not:
A political affiliation
A position of judgment
A rallying cry for the moral
Denying others rights or freedoms afforded to you
Believing that you are better off than anyone else
Exempt from sin

The Right has so brainwashed most of American Christians, mainly in the South, that in order to be on the side of good that you must be Conservative.  Not true!  If you look at the words of Jesus and even attempt to align them with a political party then you're missing the whole point.  He wants you to love and accept people where they are.  Don't worry about what He says is sinful behavior on their part and lay that focus on yourself.  Just allow yourself to be a conduit of His love and mercy.

If you wake up every morning with a determination to preach hell-fire and brimstone to a lost soul then consider it gone from the beginning.  Cornering someone in a supermarket or Facebook messaging that one gay/lesbian person you know about saving them from Hell then you will have a hard time convincing them that God loves them.  A decision to follow Christ is not always an immediate decision and we must respect His timing as perfect...because it is.  Not to mention that those actions make it appear that you have no struggle with sin and that you believe you are superior because you happened to make the decision to follow Christ sooner.  In reality, none of us are any better than a murder sitting on death row.  A sin is a sin.  There is no variation of color when it comes to what is clean and what is dirty.  We're all dirty.

So what is a Christ Follower (my preferred term)?

It is:
A person who is committed to carrying out the Great Commission
Someone who expresses love, which is a choice and not a feeling, to everyone equally
Giving freely to the poor including the man on the corner
Recognizing that you above all have sinned and fallen far short of God's glory

I am not saying that God's Word is void of anything other than the command to love.  I'm saying that I would prefer to live like God has told me to without worrying about every political move the president makes, without slandering someone who doesn't believe like I do or worrying about the dust in someone else's eye because Lord knows I have planks in my own.  I'm going to live my life dictated by hope.  That is what a Christ Follower does.

What's old is new again

I staggered into my long unused Twitter account the other day. As I was changing some things around and updating profile pictures, the important stuff, I realized I had this old blog still listed on my profile. Clicking on the link was like pulling a dusty book off of the shelf. I went back to the very first post and read through some of the most profound times in my life. I was on the verge of finding happiness, contentment and well-being. I found me.

I'm not saying that the three years between those posts and this one have been completely perfect but there have been some major accomplishments. I've dealt with some huge stuff. I've moved mountains in overcoming PTSD, repaired a strained relationship with my family, lost my grandfather to Alzheimer's, watched relationships come together and fall apart and stood with my wonderful husband as he suffers panic attacks. That was the hard stuff and in that I realize how blessed I am. On the other side of that coin I've had some blissfully wonderful moments; getting married to the one God made just for me, having a beautiful baby boy, watching my daughter grow into a rambunctious, smart and beautiful girl. There have been many laughs and many tears but nothing in the last three years has threatened to crush me or kill me as my past had.

This dusty old blog has served me well in those three years and I do believe that this shiny new blog will serve me well in the future. Husband told me just the other day that he can't remember half of what I say because I say so much. I realized that the majority of what I say is just thoughts, ideas and musings. So, to save his ears and his sanity, I will begin posting here more often.

The majority of what you may see here, if anyone ever looks, will be my journey to full surrender of God's will. This path has called to me for many years but I've never let go and stepped out to see where it leads. I'm walking this path in faith and certainly not by sight but rather than fearing what I cannot see I am exhilarated by it. I can feel the cool, refreshing air of change begin to touch my face and His word is clear with each step, reassuring me that I am going in the right direction. I wish I could take everyone along with me. I wish you could feel how much easier each breath is now that I've made the decision. That first step is always hardest but I know that I will never look back.