What's old is new again

I staggered into my long unused Twitter account the other day. As I was changing some things around and updating profile pictures, the important stuff, I realized I had this old blog still listed on my profile. Clicking on the link was like pulling a dusty book off of the shelf. I went back to the very first post and read through some of the most profound times in my life. I was on the verge of finding happiness, contentment and well-being. I found me.

I'm not saying that the three years between those posts and this one have been completely perfect but there have been some major accomplishments. I've dealt with some huge stuff. I've moved mountains in overcoming PTSD, repaired a strained relationship with my family, lost my grandfather to Alzheimer's, watched relationships come together and fall apart and stood with my wonderful husband as he suffers panic attacks. That was the hard stuff and in that I realize how blessed I am. On the other side of that coin I've had some blissfully wonderful moments; getting married to the one God made just for me, having a beautiful baby boy, watching my daughter grow into a rambunctious, smart and beautiful girl. There have been many laughs and many tears but nothing in the last three years has threatened to crush me or kill me as my past had.

This dusty old blog has served me well in those three years and I do believe that this shiny new blog will serve me well in the future. Husband told me just the other day that he can't remember half of what I say because I say so much. I realized that the majority of what I say is just thoughts, ideas and musings. So, to save his ears and his sanity, I will begin posting here more often.

The majority of what you may see here, if anyone ever looks, will be my journey to full surrender of God's will. This path has called to me for many years but I've never let go and stepped out to see where it leads. I'm walking this path in faith and certainly not by sight but rather than fearing what I cannot see I am exhilarated by it. I can feel the cool, refreshing air of change begin to touch my face and His word is clear with each step, reassuring me that I am going in the right direction. I wish I could take everyone along with me. I wish you could feel how much easier each breath is now that I've made the decision. That first step is always hardest but I know that I will never look back.