You are doing it wrong

What if I told you that you were doing your faith all wrong?  Would you get angry?  Of course you would.  I did.  But today’s methodology of following Christ is being lost in culture and it irks me to no end until I realized that I was trying to softly love people to God.  Sometimes you have to go all crazy tough love on people to get them to see the truth.  I can do that so easily with my family, my kids or my husband but I struggle with the general masses and most especially on the issue of faith.  Here's what's happening in a nutshell:

Conservative Christianity says you have to go by the law.

Progressive Christianity says you have to go by love.

The Truth says it is both.

It’s so easy to find your faith sucked into one of these two categories; thus the way to perdition is wide and the way to God is narrow.  It's easy to believe you are right when you have a large group that agrees with you on issues, uses the same verbiage or tactics but it does not make your way of going about it right.

Ephesians 2:8 says it is grace that saves us.  It is a gift.  None should boast because we are created by Him.  All of these other things are not as important as the true thing which is that we were created as a good work (Genesis 1:31) to perform good works (Ephesians 2:10).  Good works.  We are a good work required to perform good works.  Easy equation.  What about this is so hard? 

Created Good Work = Performer of Good Work

Here are some cultural issues related to what the two sides consider a "good work" and the fallacies that they are.

If your good work is protecting something that was given to you from someone less fortunate then you are lost.  If you feel as though you “worked hard” for something that God has blessed you with then your heart is not in the right place.  Working hard and a good work are two different things.  God placed provision for the orphan and the widow; it is your responsibility to care for them.  Secondly, if you’re more worried about how someone else’s life choices affect you and yours then you are blocking out the sun with the plank in your eye.  There is good news to be shared and that is that He loved the ENTIRE world, regardless of their sin, and sent His precious Son to die.  He DIED.  Why are we objectifying that sacrifice by deciding that sin has variable degrees?  Stop beating people over the head with the law and praying that they come to Christ.  It’s not going to work.

If your good work is making someone feel okay about their sinful choices then you are lost.  If you think that all people can arrive at the same God we serve by exploring other options then you are not a Christian.  It is plainly stated that there is only ONE way.  There are no Buddhist Christians.  That’s like saying you’re a carnivorous vegetarian.  It does not exist.  Stop telling people that sin is okay and hoping that they’ll see Jesus for the love He has for them.  Is it okay for your spouse okay to cheat on you as long as they’re happy?  No.  So don’t expect God to see your efforts as valiant if you cannot stand the thought of being honest and hurting someone’s feelings.  The truth must be spoken and in that regard tact goes a long way.

Jesus was the master at telling people the truth in a way that shocked and provoked thought.  Of course He offended people because the truth can be offensive...why shy away from lighting the way?  But I often ask myself if that was His only intention...to offend.  The answer is no.  He was sent to seek and save that which was lost (Luke 19:10) by the necessary means.  So let's merge these two ideologies and pull the truth out of our rears where we've seemed to have hidden it.  We need to spread the unconditional love of the God with the rebuke of sin on an individual basis.  A change in the heart has the potential to change society.  Make the Gospel a grassroots movement and not a political one.  That is how it started after all.

If something in this message offends you then perhaps you should start digging into it and figure out why it bothers you.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  You will not insult me if you disagree. 

The woman I want to be

I want to be the woman who is exhausted.

I want to be the woman who has too many lines around her eyes.

I want to be the woman who is not well kept at all times.

I want to be the woman who is never flawless.

I want to be the woman whose hands are rough and dry.

I want to be the woman whose feet and back ache every night.

I want to be the woman who does more than she should.

I want to be the woman who asks for little in return.

I want to be the woman who makes the most of little and celebrates the lot.

I want to be the woman that despite all of these things her eyes sparkle because she knows that the people she loves most are well cared for and happy.  Those things make her happy.  Those things fulfill her day.  It may not be the life that she could have ever envisioned for herself but it's the one that makes her most content.

I want to be that woman.  There is honor in honest living.  Charm is deceptive.  Beauty is fleeting.  Love is eternal.

Proverbs 31:30-31

I broke it.

I would be lying if I said the last two years of my marriage have been easy.  The sad part in all this is that I was solely responsible for the damage.

Anyone who knows my husband knows how personable, charismatic and down right likable he is when he wants to be.  He's very easy going and takes things as they come.  He is more anti-plan than anyone I've ever met because he likes to go where the wind blows.

I know what you're thinking.  What did I do to mess things up?  You want the dirt.  Did I cheat on him (I'd rather die)?  Did I throw away his favorite sweater?  Did I make him stop doing the things he likes to do?  Did I cut him off from the entire world?  Was I too jealous or possessive?

No.

I didn't listen.  I didn't look at him.  I didn't pay attention.

Communication died.

He didn't point any of these things out to me because he isn't one to do that.  I realized them when I quit my job to stay home and my daily adult interaction was greatly diminished.  Without the distraction of everyone else's drama and the personal stress of working and balancing our home caused I fully realized that he was just going through the motions of being married.  I had killed every ounce of romance with my daily "to do" list and my incessant need to plan and control.

So how do I fix it?

I'm starting by understanding that my love for God should be showing through the love I share in my relationships.  I have to let myself be soft in most situations when the control is not as important as my husband feeling validated.  Does it really matter what we have for dinner?  Does it really matter if he doesn't go where I want him to go when I want him to go ALL THE TIME?  Some things and some decisions are important and he knows when to listen.  I don't have to dictate everything we do and when we're going to do it.  That kind of behavior can wear anyone down.

I have a long way to go to repair and edify the man that I love but I'm determined to do it.  I refuse to let the one person created for me feel like any less than the great gift he is to me and my children.  Sure, we'll get on each other's nerves and we'll disagree from time to time but that's a regular marriage.  The one thing I do know for sure is that with grace and time all can be made right...and that's a truth for any relationship.

But you're just a girl

This morning I cracked my Bible for the first time in 2014.  Every morning, while the boy naps, I open the pages of this book.  There are times when the hustle and bustle of out the scheduled norm takes me away from digging into scripture but I usually find my way back once routine returns.  The funny thing is that the older I get the more focused I am in finding insights and sharing my thoughts on what I read.

Right now, I'm following the study on www.SheReadsTruth.com.  The fabulous thing about it is that even if you only have a few minutes a day the scripture and accompanying discussion is powerful.  It really maximizes your time with God.  I typically have about 30 minutes to an hour during nap time but some days, as toddlers do, he decides that sleeping just isn't on his agenda.

So, the current series is on new beginnings.  What better place to start than creation, right?  Something struck me this morning during my reading, Adam's declaration in Genesis 2:23.

"And Adam said:

This is now bone of my bones

Flesh of my flesh;

She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man."

My first thought, "Awww, the first love poem..."  Then I started to wonder about what it actually means to be a woman in Biblical terms and began digging into the commentary at the bottom of my Bible.  What I found there struck me with a profound sense of satisfaction.  

See, I've always felt like people look at me like I'm not capable of specific things because I'm petite with blond hair and blue eyes.  I'm somehow fragile or weak or less intelligent because of the way that I look.  But God says no.  No to the idea that a woman is somehow less than a man.  No to the idea that she isn't capable of being as intelligent or weak simply because she can't bench press a couple hundred pounds of iron or open a jar of pickles.  I'll have you know that I open my fair share of jars in this house.

Earlier in chapter 2, God says that he wants Adam to have a "comparable helper."  I can see all the feminists getting hot under the collar.  Hold up.  The term "helper" is not negative in any way.  In fact, God is also referred to as a help in a time of need (Psalm 33:20) and most of us know that God is the biggest, baddest helper of them all.   Women were not created to be secondary to man like some leftover afterthought but to be a companion to man; hence, the rib.  Women are created to be a just right fit with man.

The truly spectacular thing is Adam's reaction to Eve when she is presented to him.  His love poem extols that she is just like him but different.  This intrigues and astounds him.  She is intelligent, not like any other creature he had seen on the earth.  He gave her the name Woman, which is just like his name but different.  A perfect and suitable match to him.  He is completely enamored with her.

Martin Luther said it best, "God might have taken a bone from a toe and thus signified that Adam was to rule over her; or He might have taken a bone from his head to indicate her rule over him.  But by taking a bone from his side, God implied equality and mutual respect."

The Fall brought a much more pronounced difference between the sexes but I will contend until my dying breath that we are all equal.  We are all worthy of respect without limitation to our ability.

As a side note, I am snacking on an apple as I write.  Coincidence?