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Thursday, October 30, 2008

A decree

I’m having writer’s block. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Margaret Cho and try to alleviate my writer's block by claiming my nether regions are haunted (disgusting really). I usually write a lot but when I have an outlet, someone to talk to, these things don’t come as easily. I did sit down the other night to just freely write whatever popped into my head and I love doing that because it’s then, out of nowhere, that these thoughts and words come out that I didn’t know were hiding in the old noggin.

Every once in a while, it’s good to just let every fear, every anxiety, come out through the pen. I don’t like to use the keyboard when I do this kind of writing just good old-fashioned pen to paper because it seems so fundamental, so natural, that way. I’ve noticed, too, that I really only write when I am feeling overwhelmed by a circumstance or I am trying to analyze a situation (which I do a whole lot of). I don’t really write much when things are going well.

Writing for me is a lot like praying. A lot of us only pray when everything seems to be going wrong and we forget God when things are going well. I am so guilty of this, especially as of late. Things have been going really well for me and I’m not leaning on Him as much as I usually do. That’s not a good thing and I must say I’m not proud of it. So I’m issuing a decree. . .it’s a personal one, obviously, but I am going to start focusing on God again. Things always make so much more sense when I am where I’m supposed to be. It’s faith that has gotten me through so many things and made me a conqueror of circumstances that I could have never stood through on my own. If I don’t build on that foundation now, when things are awesome, then I’ll have nothing to stand on when things fall apart, which they will because that is the cycle of life.

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