Insanity

Everyone knows the definition of insanity.

Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.

America is insane.

At least once a week I get a news notification on my phone about another mass shooting somewhere in America...yet nothing changes.  There have been 74 school shootings JUST THIS YEAR, and if you're keeping track it's only June.  That's 74 incidents in six months.  We shake our heads, wipe the tears of our mourning (unless you're Joe Plumber) and keep everything else in place.  After all, what is America about without the Second Amendment?

Well, we aren't about being first in Education.  That's for sure.  Because if we were we would know enough to read the Second Amendment within the context of the time of which is was written (much as the Bible has been neglected out of context but that is another post for another time).  Redcoats, Revolution...anyone?  No one is taking away your right to have a gun but everyone is wondering why nothing has changed in regard to how they are obtained and where the line of absolution is drawn in the wake of a tragedy.

Something HAS to give.  There are double locks on the doors at my child's school.  I have to be buzzed in to see her at lunch.  No, there is nothing wrong with added safety but what happens when the threat is already inside the school with her?  We live in Texas so I would venture to say that the vast majority of the children at her school are in homes where more than one gun is owned.  Should I send her to school armed with one of these bullet resistant blankets and hope I'm able to pick her up alive?

This image is heartbreaking.  This idea that we must teach our kids to protect themselves from an active shooter so that Joe Plumber can avoid change.  It's pure torture that a parent must consider these alternatives in today's world ALL because people are so worried about their entitlement being removed.  I'm so sorry to inform you that my child is also entitled.  She's entitled to a childhood.  A childhood where her only fear should be of the shadows in her closet and NOT the ticker on the news.  I should not have to answer questions about kids her age dying because someone took their mother's guns and showed up on campus that day.  I should not have to leave Target because some nut job thinks it's his right to show up with an assault rifle and expect me and my kids to get over it.  Who's to say HE isn't the next Elliot Roger?

Changes can and have been made in other countries after these events happen and the statistical changes in those countries should be enough to instigate a thorough investigation into what we can do to prevent any further loss of life.

Australia
The U.K.
Canada & Japan

Contrary to popular political beliefs (especially in the South), Obama has a terrible record on gun control.  As a matter of fact, our political biases and our inability as a nation to come together on anything has most likely made the situation worse.  But, no, we're too busy concerning ourselves with what goes on in the bedrooms of homosexuals than we are protecting our children from clear and present danger.  You can't change others but you can certainly change legislation to prevent kids from dying.  I'd say that something worth looking into.

What do we do?  If you're a parent, what would you do?  I certainly don't want to homeschool my child.  I don't want to feed the fear monster that lives at the bottom of my television screen.  Yes, bad guys are going to get guns no matter how strictly regulated but shouldn't we do what we can to slow the tidal wave?

Keep your guns.  By all means, that is one of the foundations of our freedoms.  But let's consider some alternatives to helping keep others safe from those who intend harm.  Is that too much to ask  I'm sure the parents of Allison Wyatt wouldn't think so.

And the family of Rachel D'Avino wouldn't complain.

Place your child's image in this thread.  Or your spouse.  Consider how you would feel if they were gone because a registered gun owner went nuts one day.  Would you tell me that you would say, "Well, they obtained it legally so I guess it's okay by me."

I highly doubt that would be your answer.

Let's get personal

Some days I find myself standing in front of the mirror wondering who the reflection because I don't recognize her.  Those days come closer together than ever it seems.  My hair is longer and darker than it's ever been, usually pulled back.  I rarely wear makeup anymore and the closet is no fun for me to look into because my work wardrobe has dwindled to a uniform of t-shirts and comfortable pants.

I am at home with my kiddos every day.  This is hard work and the most rewarding "job" I've ever had but it's very easy to lose your identity in the day to day tasks and the overwhelming responsibility of molding future stewards of this world.

When I'm not with my children I am shooting other families, weddings and portraits.  I'm wearing tennis shoes and shorts.  I generally come home with grass stains and twigs sticking from my hair with fresh new mosquito bites.  I love what I do but it's easy to become a ghost behind a lens, as though I never really exist.

Days when I'm not getting along with my husband, when there's been one too many tantrums, when the paycheck didn't stretch far enough, it's hard to remember just how blessed I am.  The saying goes that a picture is worth a thousand words.  Scanning through my folders upon folders of family images and scrolling through all the pictures on my Facebook feed make today so much easier to get through.  No matter what comes our way,  no matter how much deeper the lines around my eyes get in one day, no matter how dark I color my hair to cover the gray, I can sit and look at images of my family and know that I am loved.

But, let's face it.  Some days are just plain hard.  Some days it's easy to forget.  Today is one of those days.

Eat A Sandwich

I have fought writing this for months.  Considering my last post was a few months ago and it was on the topic of excuses as to why I don't look like a fitness model, I really didn't want to write another post on body image.  Unfortunately, I can't seem to escape it.

There's a new term hanging around these days.  You may have heard it in the media.

Shaming.

Fat.
Skinny.
Slut.
Parent.
Kids.
Bullies.
Pets.

The list goes on and on.  People are not only using the mainstream media to shame others or outcry against shaming but they're taking to social media.  Parents post images of their kids after they pooped in the crib (because Junior will really appreciate that being brought up at his job interview in 20 years).  Pets are holding signs declaring that they tore up the living room.  Teenagers are holding signs saying they stole money from mom's purse (also, great interview material).  Trolls scan images of girls in half dress or girls who are not the ideal societal body type and rip them to shreds.

She's tall and thin.  The angle the photo was taken makes her appear even taller.  It wasn't Health's use of this woman as a model for an article titled, "Walk off 10 pounds in 3 weeks with this routine" that I found appalling (that was just poor planning on the part of social media director), it was the comments found below the picture that made me sick.

How about put on 20 pounds. She looks like a piece of rope.

Anorexia nervosa

Excessive use of Photoshop.

Looks like she walked off her ass

She needs to walk herself to the donut shop and find herself ten pounds to put on...

That girl is way too skinny

This girl looks ill

This chick needs a cheeseburger, plain and simple.

Not attractive, not what you want to crawl up to in bed. Those boney limbs poking you would hurt. Cheeseburger, fries, shake and cake. I'm surprised she has enough strength to walk. My biggest fear is that something would break during sex!

The last comment was my personal favorite.  Wonder if my husband feels that way?  To be fair, I've walked around my whole life and I've never broken anything.  And if this guy delivers, I'll be happy to take a cheeseburger, fries and a shake.

Do you know how many times I've heard these exact same things?  As a matter of fact, I stopped wearing all forms of skirts, dresses and shorts in middle school because I was tired of hearing the term "chicken legs" and I didn't start wearing them again until long after I graduated high school  I was tormented by everyone for having a "flat chest" and I rarely wore sleeveless shirts because of the "toothpicks" I had for arms.  This isn't a blog about how terribly I was bullied, because adolescence just sucks and everyone is teased about something.  This is moreso how we treat one another based on ideals conditioned by society because to this day I still get comments about how skinny I am.  

For some reason, it's okay to shame a skinny girl because she's skinny.  It's okay to poke fun at stereotypes like the one where we somehow "forget to eat," is a skinny person problem.  Oh, we're so funny because we're anorexic.  Haha.

Stop telling us to eat a sandwich.  Stop telling us that we need to put on a few pounds.  We can't.  My husband can tell you that a few years ago I tried to gain muscle mass.  Protein powders, heavy protein meals, supplements, work outs...nothing worked.

Also, don't assume that a skinny girl has an eating disorder unless you see without a doubt that she has symptoms of one (and contrary to popular belief, it's not a "lucky" disorder to have).  Here's a list you should check if you think someone is struggling:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anorexia/basics/symptoms/con-20033002

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bulimia/basics/symptoms/con-20033050

On the other hand, it is not okay to tell someone they need to lose a few pounds or to tell them they need to eat less.

Having any kind of comment to make about someone else's body, a generalized meme to post on social media, a comment on the way someone looks or dresses is not appropriate unless it is a compliment, and no, I don't consider remarks about how skinny I am to be a compliment.

Each one of these women are beautiful.  They all weigh the same.  They all carry it differently.  All that matters is that they are healthy.  No social standard of beauty should dampen that.  Body image is hard enough in the battlefields of our own minds, none of us need anyone else adding fuel to the flames of warfare.  Granted, there are times when unhealthy habits will need to be addressed but there's a difference between concern and being a flat out jerk.  Sometimes it's a fine line but if you have to start the comment with "He/She looks like" and there's something unflattering attached to the end of the comment then it's best left unsaid.

What about you?  Do you have an insecurity that others seem to comment on?  Are you guilty of picking on someone because of the way they look?

Be a change agent.

Oh, and leave Junior's unsavory moments off Facebook.  His future depends on it.