Some days I find myself standing in front of the mirror wondering who the reflection because I don't recognize her. Those days come closer together than ever it seems. My hair is longer and darker than it's ever been, usually pulled back. I rarely wear makeup anymore and the closet is no fun for me to look into because my work wardrobe has dwindled to a uniform of t-shirts and comfortable pants.
I am at home with my kiddos every day. This is hard work and the most rewarding "job" I've ever had but it's very easy to lose your identity in the day to day tasks and the overwhelming responsibility of molding future stewards of this world.
When I'm not with my children I am shooting other families, weddings and portraits. I'm wearing tennis shoes and shorts. I generally come home with grass stains and twigs sticking from my hair with fresh new mosquito bites. I love what I do but it's easy to become a ghost behind a lens, as though I never really exist.
Days when I'm not getting along with my husband, when there's been one too many tantrums, when the paycheck didn't stretch far enough, it's hard to remember just how blessed I am. The saying goes that a picture is worth a thousand words. Scanning through my folders upon folders of family images and scrolling through all the pictures on my Facebook feed make today so much easier to get through. No matter what comes our way, no matter how much deeper the lines around my eyes get in one day, no matter how dark I color my hair to cover the gray, I can sit and look at images of my family and know that I am loved.
But, let's face it. Some days are just plain hard. Some days it's easy to forget. Today is one of those days.
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