There's a new term hanging around these days. You may have heard it in the media.
Shaming.
Fat.
Skinny.
Slut.
Parent.
Kids.
Bullies.
Pets.
The list goes on and on. People are not only using the mainstream media to shame others or outcry against shaming but they're taking to social media. Parents post images of their kids after they pooped in the crib (because Junior will really appreciate that being brought up at his job interview in 20 years). Pets are holding signs declaring that they tore up the living room. Teenagers are holding signs saying they stole money from mom's purse (also, great interview material). Trolls scan images of girls in half dress or girls who are not the ideal societal body type and rip them to shreds.
She's tall and thin. The angle the photo was taken makes her appear even taller. It wasn't Health's use of this woman as a model for an article titled, "Walk off 10 pounds in 3 weeks with this routine" that I found appalling (that was just poor planning on the part of social media director), it was the comments found below the picture that made me sick.
How about put on 20 pounds. She looks like a piece of rope.
Anorexia nervosa
Excessive use of Photoshop.
Looks like she walked off her ass
She needs to walk herself to the donut shop and find herself ten pounds to put on...
That girl is way too skinny
This girl looks ill
This chick needs a cheeseburger, plain and simple.
Not attractive, not what you want to crawl up to in bed. Those boney limbs poking you would hurt. Cheeseburger, fries, shake and cake. I'm surprised she has enough strength to walk. My biggest fear is that something would break during sex!
The last comment was my personal favorite. Wonder if my husband feels that way? To be fair, I've walked around my whole life and I've never broken anything. And if this guy delivers, I'll be happy to take a cheeseburger, fries and a shake.
Do you know how many times I've heard these exact same things? As a matter of fact, I stopped wearing all forms of skirts, dresses and shorts in middle school because I was tired of hearing the term "chicken legs" and I didn't start wearing them again until long after I graduated high school I was tormented by everyone for having a "flat chest" and I rarely wore sleeveless shirts because of the "toothpicks" I had for arms. This isn't a blog about how terribly I was bullied, because adolescence just sucks and everyone is teased about something. This is moreso how we treat one another based on ideals conditioned by society because to this day I still get comments about how skinny I am.
For some reason, it's okay to shame a skinny girl because she's skinny. It's okay to poke fun at stereotypes like the one where we somehow "forget to eat," is a skinny person problem. Oh, we're so funny because we're anorexic. Haha.
Stop telling us to eat a sandwich. Stop telling us that we need to put on a few pounds. We can't. My husband can tell you that a few years ago I tried to gain muscle mass. Protein powders, heavy protein meals, supplements, work outs...nothing worked.
Also, don't assume that a skinny girl has an eating disorder unless you see without a doubt that she has symptoms of one (and contrary to popular belief, it's not a "lucky" disorder to have). Here's a list you should check if you think someone is struggling:
On the other hand, it is not okay to tell someone they need to lose a few pounds or to tell them they need to eat less.
Having any kind of comment to make about someone else's body, a generalized meme to post on social media, a comment on the way someone looks or dresses is not appropriate unless it is a compliment, and no, I don't consider remarks about how skinny I am to be a compliment.
Each one of these women are beautiful. They all weigh the same. They all carry it differently. All that matters is that they are healthy. No social standard of beauty should dampen that. Body image is hard enough in the battlefields of our own minds, none of us need anyone else adding fuel to the flames of warfare. Granted, there are times when unhealthy habits will need to be addressed but there's a difference between concern and being a flat out jerk. Sometimes it's a fine line but if you have to start the comment with "He/She looks like" and there's something unflattering attached to the end of the comment then it's best left unsaid.
What about you? Do you have an insecurity that others seem to comment on? Are you guilty of picking on someone because of the way they look?
Be a change agent.
Oh, and leave Junior's unsavory moments off Facebook. His future depends on it.
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