A work in progress

A couple of weeks ago, I went over to a friend’s house and was amazed at how clean and organized everything was. I thought this was due to company but later, upon a unplanned visit, I realized that it was always that way. I was really impressed because as the mother of a toddler, “clean” is a term open to interpretation. At any rate, this particular friend had some areas of their life that they felt was out of control and it dawned on me that the lack of control in one area manifested in an “OCD” desire to control their environment.

This little enlightenment on this behavior brought me to another conclusion. Sometimes there are things that we just don’t have any say in and trying to make up for it in other ways does not necessarily lead to happiness. Just because there was order in the midst of emotional chaos, it did not solve any of the real issues. Sometimes the only thing we can do is let it go and place it in the hands of God.

My true source of joy is knowing that these things that I can’t control are teeny tiny to God and that there is nothing He won’t handle for me. Soon enough, all of my disappointments and set backs are going to work together for the best and everything will be as it should. So until then, I will continue to grow into the person that God is shaping me to be.

I used to think that if I didn’t understand what someone’s motivation was, that they were just plain wrong for being that way. As I have gotten older I have had to learn to accept people for who they are. Doesn’t mean that I always understand, it just means that I recognize that I can’t change people. Learning to do that has really allowed me to accept myself.

We all have faults and tiny imperfections. Duh. But I’ve found that letting myself just allow people to be who they are, I am giving myself permission to be who I am. Although I try desperately to understand what motivates some people, it’s nearly impossible. Mostly because they themselves can’t always explain the why. However, the little light bulb does come on from time to time and I really enjoy the “sneak peek” into someone’s mind.