Better but not new

One of my favorite things as a kid was a brand new spiral notepad. Freshly lined sheets of paper, blank and waiting for me to pen a creative narrative or doodle some awe-inspiring portrait of my 10th grade Algebra teacher who hated me with everything she had (she once told me to pee my pants because I had asked to use the restroom so you can imagine how flattering that drawing was).

Every year at this time I purge closets, reorganize and rethink the arrangement of furniture in our home.  It's as much of a symbolic gesture as it is a physical one.  Releasing what is old and no longer functional and putting things in an order that will suit a growing family (in stature and maturity, not in number, thank you very much) must be done.  Otherwise we become weighed down with jackets too tight at the shoulders, jeans too short at the ankles (or too narrow at the waist, thanks Christmas cookies) and dusty old papers that no one has picked up during the course of the year.  Sometimes it's that way with resolutions.  We make them thinking we know what will be best for us but eventually they just don't fit.

The ending of one year and the anticipation of the coming year always feels like that fresh spiral notebook.  I strategically plan with anticipation events that will pass and actions I will take in the next twelve months.  Last year, after a hectic season of shooting I vowed that I would spend more time with my family.  I was good for a while and then became completely consumed with making my business bigger and better.  In October, I realized that my bigger and better business wasn't making money and was causing far more strain in my home than it was ever worth.  Sometimes passion and doing something well just won't pay the bills.  I went back to working a 9 to 5 job and I haven't looked back.

There is nothing wrong with being a "resolutioner" and I hate that people have tagged some ugly stigma to it.  Frankly, after the holidays when no one is in a routine, it's nice to use the disruption to change habits.  Eat better, work out, blog more (who said that?!), work more or less, make more time for your family or deciding that you will throw all of that out the window if it just isn't possible.   That's the magic of a resolution.  Sometimes it just doesn't work.  And that's okay.  The point is not "new year, new you" but "new year, better you."

Excuses, excuses

So, I'm late to the party on this one:

Let me just point out, I look nothing like Maria Kang.  I'm thin, yes, but I'm not a fitness model or a wellness coach.  I don't have three kids under the age of three.  That's pure insanity and kudos to those who can manage.  Odds are this woman was in fantastic shape prior to getting pregnant and during her pregnancy.  You don't just pop into the gym with an 8 month old, much less two other small children, and manage to look like this.  But I digress.

What's my excuse?

Well, I don't have one.

I have reasons.  Three really good reasons that fill up my newsfeed or Instagram account on a daily basis.  Three really pretty reasons, if I do say so myself.  I also have a small business and a church that I give some time to.  Up until last semester, I was also in school part time.  By the time I lay my head on my pillow, around midnight usually, my day has been filled with projects, clients, homework, cooking, cleaning and diapers.  And I love it.  That's my life.  That's my reason.

She's recently been under fire again with a new picture and a new "no excuse" campaign.  She's attempting to be "inspirational" and not understanding that her priorities don't equate to everyone else's priorities and that's really what this is all about.  She.  Just.  Doesn't.  Get.  It.

You can read the entire article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/07/maria-kang-photo-excuse_n_4918766.html.

I go for gusto in everything I do.  To look like this I would have to spend a few hours a week in a gym.  That means something in my life would slip.  I'm not willing to give up that time with my family or my business or my church to make sure I'm a "hot mom."  Sister, we aren't all built to be "strong, not skinny."  These images and this "campaign" is unintentionally shaming people into thinking we don't do enough when the truth of the matter is that we all do too much.

In the article she says that to raise a healthy child you must be a  healthy parent.  Well, duh.  But healthy isn't all about the body.  My daughter doesn't need to see me pose in my short shorts and my sports bra to get the idea that eating right and staying active is healthy.  She needs to see me live a life of faith.  She needs to see me take care of her and interact with others in a positive way.

If these images motivate you then by all means use them!!!  If they don't, then don't.  My problem is this: these things have a way of burying themselves in your subconscious.  They pop up when you're doing something as insignificant as putting on your jeans that you don't wear like you did before the last kid.  Let's think about the definition of health and the definition of excuse.  Put these two things in perspective before attempting to "motivate" the world by insinuating that we're all a bunch of fat losers if we don't look like you.

Bitter?  No.  Irritated?  Yes.

My life is not her life.  My path is not her path.  My family is not her family.  I look the way I look and live the way I live because I want it that way.  No excuse to be found.

It's a Resolution, Baby!

Resolution is such a cliche term.  As overused as the word "awesome" and I don't like overused words or terms.  I have a list of words that I hate and will hide people on Facebook for using.  That's a post for another day.

Anywho, one year ending seems final and another beginning is hopeful.  Unfortunately, all those new gym memberships and organizational tools that we all buy because of our new hope will just fall into the land of forgotten resolutions about halfway into February.  So as I was taking a shower this morning I couldn't help but think about last year.

So before I decide to make a resolution (eww) I am going to reflect (ugh) on some of the things I learned in 2013 so that I can make some adjustments:

I learned that just because I am not working a 9 to 5 doesn't mean I have more time.  I am evaluating my business plan and I am taking time off from school to devote myself more fully to my husband and children.  Honestly, taking December off from both school and work has been the best thing for all of us.  Before the last few weeks, I cannot remember the last time I sat in front of the TV with my husband and kids and just hung out.  My face has been glued to a monitor for the last year and I'm pretty tired of it.  This isn't to say that I won't be working but I'll be doing less of it for people who really value what I do.  I ran into some doozies this year and I left those situations feeling empty and defeated.  Sometimes I forget that I choose who I work with as much as they choose me.

My 2014 adjustments (sounds so much better and more attainable, doesn't it?):

Slow down.  My kids will only be kids once.  My relationship with my husband as a romantic partner is just as important than the one I have with him as a parent.  I easily get caught up in the day to day but there are times that I need to stop and take in what is going on around me.  When I'm so busy buying groceries, organizing, getting WODs in and making sure all the bills are paid it's easy to miss that my family is missing me emotionally.  Relax.  Breathe.  Look around.  Sure, there's a giant pile of dishes in the sink and the floor you just mopped is filthy with cookie crumbs and scraps of arts and crafts but are my kids smiling?  Is my husband laughing?  If those sounds and sights are missing then I am missing.

And something I think we can all agree to:

Stop basing your life on what you know about what's viral and what's trendy.  Stop being outraged over the Phil Robertsons and Michael Moores of the world and make those around you see the light of Christ by reaching out in love.  There are real injustices, there are differing opinions (GASP!) and there are real and meaningful interactions right at your fingertips.  We are more connected as a globe as we've ever been.  Make those interactions count for the positive.  Most of all, if there is a disagreement it is simply that; a disagreement.  Just because someone thinks differently it doesn't mean they're personally insulting you.  Learn the difference.  Live in peace.

Happy New Year!

It's in the air

I went to pick up my books for the Fall semester and since I'm an online student, it's one of the few times I will be visiting campus. Turns out, I was there the same day they were hosting orientation for new students. The excitement, anticipation and the feeling of the newness of the school year was palpatable. I had forgotten just how refreshing a new school year could be. It was a necessary reality check. I love to learn but for some reason I was just not as geared up as I always get at the prospect of new supplies and knowing that I would end the semester just a tad bit smarter than I started.