Let's get personal

Some days I find myself standing in front of the mirror wondering who the reflection because I don't recognize her.  Those days come closer together than ever it seems.  My hair is longer and darker than it's ever been, usually pulled back.  I rarely wear makeup anymore and the closet is no fun for me to look into because my work wardrobe has dwindled to a uniform of t-shirts and comfortable pants.

I am at home with my kiddos every day.  This is hard work and the most rewarding "job" I've ever had but it's very easy to lose your identity in the day to day tasks and the overwhelming responsibility of molding future stewards of this world.

When I'm not with my children I am shooting other families, weddings and portraits.  I'm wearing tennis shoes and shorts.  I generally come home with grass stains and twigs sticking from my hair with fresh new mosquito bites.  I love what I do but it's easy to become a ghost behind a lens, as though I never really exist.

Days when I'm not getting along with my husband, when there's been one too many tantrums, when the paycheck didn't stretch far enough, it's hard to remember just how blessed I am.  The saying goes that a picture is worth a thousand words.  Scanning through my folders upon folders of family images and scrolling through all the pictures on my Facebook feed make today so much easier to get through.  No matter what comes our way,  no matter how much deeper the lines around my eyes get in one day, no matter how dark I color my hair to cover the gray, I can sit and look at images of my family and know that I am loved.

But, let's face it.  Some days are just plain hard.  Some days it's easy to forget.  Today is one of those days.

Excuses, excuses

So, I'm late to the party on this one:

Let me just point out, I look nothing like Maria Kang.  I'm thin, yes, but I'm not a fitness model or a wellness coach.  I don't have three kids under the age of three.  That's pure insanity and kudos to those who can manage.  Odds are this woman was in fantastic shape prior to getting pregnant and during her pregnancy.  You don't just pop into the gym with an 8 month old, much less two other small children, and manage to look like this.  But I digress.

What's my excuse?

Well, I don't have one.

I have reasons.  Three really good reasons that fill up my newsfeed or Instagram account on a daily basis.  Three really pretty reasons, if I do say so myself.  I also have a small business and a church that I give some time to.  Up until last semester, I was also in school part time.  By the time I lay my head on my pillow, around midnight usually, my day has been filled with projects, clients, homework, cooking, cleaning and diapers.  And I love it.  That's my life.  That's my reason.

She's recently been under fire again with a new picture and a new "no excuse" campaign.  She's attempting to be "inspirational" and not understanding that her priorities don't equate to everyone else's priorities and that's really what this is all about.  She.  Just.  Doesn't.  Get.  It.

You can read the entire article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/07/maria-kang-photo-excuse_n_4918766.html.

I go for gusto in everything I do.  To look like this I would have to spend a few hours a week in a gym.  That means something in my life would slip.  I'm not willing to give up that time with my family or my business or my church to make sure I'm a "hot mom."  Sister, we aren't all built to be "strong, not skinny."  These images and this "campaign" is unintentionally shaming people into thinking we don't do enough when the truth of the matter is that we all do too much.

In the article she says that to raise a healthy child you must be a  healthy parent.  Well, duh.  But healthy isn't all about the body.  My daughter doesn't need to see me pose in my short shorts and my sports bra to get the idea that eating right and staying active is healthy.  She needs to see me live a life of faith.  She needs to see me take care of her and interact with others in a positive way.

If these images motivate you then by all means use them!!!  If they don't, then don't.  My problem is this: these things have a way of burying themselves in your subconscious.  They pop up when you're doing something as insignificant as putting on your jeans that you don't wear like you did before the last kid.  Let's think about the definition of health and the definition of excuse.  Put these two things in perspective before attempting to "motivate" the world by insinuating that we're all a bunch of fat losers if we don't look like you.

Bitter?  No.  Irritated?  Yes.

My life is not her life.  My path is not her path.  My family is not her family.  I look the way I look and live the way I live because I want it that way.  No excuse to be found.

The woman I want to be

I want to be the woman who is exhausted.

I want to be the woman who has too many lines around her eyes.

I want to be the woman who is not well kept at all times.

I want to be the woman who is never flawless.

I want to be the woman whose hands are rough and dry.

I want to be the woman whose feet and back ache every night.

I want to be the woman who does more than she should.

I want to be the woman who asks for little in return.

I want to be the woman who makes the most of little and celebrates the lot.

I want to be the woman that despite all of these things her eyes sparkle because she knows that the people she loves most are well cared for and happy.  Those things make her happy.  Those things fulfill her day.  It may not be the life that she could have ever envisioned for herself but it's the one that makes her most content.

I want to be that woman.  There is honor in honest living.  Charm is deceptive.  Beauty is fleeting.  Love is eternal.

Proverbs 31:30-31